| Yesterday vanessa and i hung out. It was so much fun. My mom wanted me to in wash my comforter at the laundry mat so vanessa was like lets go. So first we went to my bank so i could get money. Then we went to a few places down town. Then we finally went to the laundry mat. It was fun. There was this little boy that was throwing candy at us. Then i went home. Jeff then came over and we hung out. Then vanessa came over again. But before that her car... Ha ha... Ran out of gas so we went and picked her up got gas then we finally hung out around nine. We went dt to look at apt. Then to taco bell. We went and ate at a park but this damn cat kept trying to eat our food. So we left. Then i went home. I went to petco and saw jamie. It was cool. Now i am home. I got to go call jeff now. Later. |
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| But then you told me you weren back. You told me things to tell people about how you missed them but no one believed me. It was a where dream. I cant remember every thing you told me but i hope i dream of you every night. This way i have i little of you in my day. Every day. |
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| I wish you could hear me. I cry so much. I cant stop. It hurts so bad. Crying is the only thing that feels right. I cant sleep at night. All i do is think of you. All i can do is remember you as you where. Today i wrote a comment in your obituary. I think thats when it really hit me. This is for real. You are never coming back. I will never get to talk to you. I will never get to see you. Its not fair. You were so young and so smart. You had the world ahead of you. Why did you have to go. Why cant you come back. I want you back so bad. I know crying wont bring you back but thats all i can do. If i wasnt afraid to cry in public and in front of people i would cry all day because thats how much i miss you. I am so sorry for not going to see you in the hospital. I would have if i could. I would have he i would have known thats was the last time i was going to see you. I had a dream about you last night. I dreamed that i saw you and i ran up and told you how much i missed wound that i was so glad you were back. |
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| So todays training wasnt as terrible as i thought. I need a new job. I need to get away. Brittany and i are going to los angeles to shop. It should be fun. I got to see marciano today. He came over crying. I guess his parents were fighting and he left. I think he and i are both really stressed out about lynns death. He used my phone and we talked a bit then he went home. I hope hes ok. We used to be friends but things happened. It seems like some thing horrible has to happen in order for people to get back together. Its wierd. I hate school. I dont want to in back. But i know things will work out for me in the end. I just got to try my best. So i hope my life stays like this from now on. Its perfect. I need to in shopping for school clothes... Oh no... Ha ha... Well i guess thats that. love... Tequilla |
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| my phone rings at 11:30 this morning.
i look at the phone... Jennifer...maybe she wants to hangout?
i say hello...
..."did you hear yet?"
..."about what?"
..."about lynn"
..."what about her?"
..."she died last night"..
my day turned to shit.
i never thought she would even up dead...
i thought she would recover from the surgery and come back to school.
i know she had been out of school for over 6 months...
she would have to repeat the year but hey she was smart... she'd get through it...
then we could celebrate our b-day. (we have the same b-day)
but all that is gone now.
just when you think some one is getting better, just when everything looks so good...
they dissapear...
i am going to miss her so much...
if only...
</3 Aquilla |
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